


Sempiternal

by theworldwithkaisoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:06:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10592721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theworldwithkaisoo/pseuds/theworldwithkaisoo
Summary: Someone once told me that if a writer loves you, or has ever loved you, you can never die.





	

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for [bestdayskaisoofest](http://kaisoobiography.livejournal.com/13893.html)
> 
>  **(original) Author's Note:** I am not proud of this. Literally this feels like a big flop to me. It’s like one jumbled mess. This had so much potential ugh. Thanks to whoever prompted this though, I really liked it. And a big thanks to the mods for hosting (and a-plus to the graphics!!!)! :)  
>  Side note: this does go back and forth between past and present, I did try to make it as clear as possible. There are some areas were a scene will start off with an italicized quote—just note that it is from the book that Luhan is reading which then goes into the past (it’ll make sense once you start reading)

“It’s said that if a writer loves you, or has ever loved you, you can never die,” Jongin said over the passing of cars beneath them. They were laying on a blanket staring at the stars on the roof that was attached to Kyungsoo’s apartment. Kyungsoo turned his head to face Jongin at the same time the other did. “Do you write about me, Soo?”

Kyungsoo felt heat rise to his face and then turned his head so he looked towards the night sky. The stars weren’t as bright as they could’ve been. The light pollution was getting worse, especially downtown. 

There was one star in the sky that his eyes kept shifting to. It had this certain charm to it in comparison to the other ones around it. It had a certain sparkle that reminded him so much of the sparkle in Jongin’s. Kyungsoo kept his eye on the star as he thought about the notebooks and scraps of paper he had filled one particular box with over the years. All about Jongin. All about their lives. In a way, Kyungsoo wanted to immortalize their time together, even if no one would know who they were.

“Who ever said I loved you?” Kyungsoo mumbled as his response. Jongin just laughed and interlocked their hands. 

“Of course, you love me,” Jongin said. Kyungsoo squeezed his hand. “You’re my boyfriend. You _have_ to love me.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~

 

Luhan took one step out of his ship and paused. He was waiting for his readings to pull up on his masks screen. Though this wasn't his first time being in an environmental suit, Luhan couldn't help but feel paranoid. This was the first time since humans have left earth that someone has come to excavate. Luhan wasn't sure if he should be excited or terrified. He was in by no means a scientist, he only knew the basics to keep himself alive. His job was some what similar to an archaeologist. He went to distant planets to see if he could find any sort of life or artifacts that would later be placed in the revolving museum. But Earth, he was the first person to work here. He wasn’t sure why that was. It would’ve made more sense if they sent scientists to see if earth was habitable. To check the progress of the oxygen levels and all the finer molecules. But no, instead, he was sent.

The Exodus held the largest collection of artifacts from all over the galaxy. It was stationed in a small solar system within the Andromeda Galaxy. That was where Luhan had worked. And it was only recently that the board decided to finally open an entire section to Earth artifacts. Luhan had been selected to excavate because he was the only human working in the museum with full knowledge of Earth.

After he environmental suit cleared the area, Luhan proceeded forwards and a few steps behind him was Sehun, his body guard. Though, his job was one in which no violence ever occurred, Luhan’s boss never wanted to take the risk of losing one of his best excavators, so they hired Sehun.

According to his map, he had landed in what used to be called South Korea, in a city called Seoul, district: Gangnam. He used his scanner to see if there was anything worth looking at in the area. There wasn’t much that was left among the re-growing forests. A soft ping, redirected his gaze as it went through his headset. 

The only thing he scanner showed was an outline of a box that was about 100 m in front of him. Without much of a second though, Luhan headed in the direction of the box.

 

He reached the box. From what Luhan remembered this was a safe, not a box. Sehun had to help him pry it open, without damage in contents inside. What he found inside was one, simple notebook. It had been well-preserved in the safe, so Luhan made quick work to wrap it in a protective bag. He would have to look through the contents later, when he was back on board where the oxygen levels were stable. 

There was another _ping_ that went through his headset, this time the object that was out lined looked like a cup.

 

Once they were safely back on board, Luhan carefully took the notebook from the small plastic bag. It was a solid black cover. When he opened the cover it had some text, The D.O. Collection. On the second page was something handwritten. 

_To Jongin, you, my husband, are in every aspect of my life. Every book and every character. You shall never die, for you shall live in the pages of books, that will travel the world. You shall defy the laws of time. With everlasting love, Do Kyungsoo._

There was something about this book, Luhan decided then, something that made him want to keep it in his grasp.

 

Luhan brought his findings in front of the board. He went through each object and explain what he believed they had been used for and what year they had been from.

“What of that book there?” One of the board members, another human, asked. She had pointed to the black book, that rested amongst the collection.

“Ah, forgive me,” Luhan said as he reached over and took it into his hands. He placed gently on top of his pile of papers. “That was just a personal notebook.”

“I wasn’t aware they still had any of those around.”

Luhan smiled softly, as he rubbed the cover. “They don’t, a friend of mine had a spare one.”

 

Sitting on his couch, Luhan opened the first page and re-read the handwritten note. Then he proceeded to the first chapter.

_Someone once told me that if a writer loves you, or has ever loved you, you can never die._

_I’ve written many of books over the course of my career, all bearing parts of my soul. In a way, as with any writer, my books are like my children. From the spark of an idea to slaving for months over it. But something that not many have realized is that I’ve included more in my books than people realize._

_This is the story of my heart and everything it holds dear..._

 

~.~.~.~.~.~

 

Kyungsoo typed and then deleted. And then typed. Then deleted. Kyungsoo had been in a writing slump for weeks now. He had just finished touring for another best-seller. Another book that increased everyone’s expectation. Every best-seller meant that any new book Kyungsoo publish needed to be of equal quality. If that didn’t spell pressure, he wasn’t sure what did. 

Across from him sat his husband, Jongin, who looked at him curiously, the light from his laptop screen reflected in his glasses. “Everything okay?”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “ I have no idea what I want to write about. Usually my ideas just flow in but...I think I’ve actually written everything I’ve wanted to write about.”

“Have you talked to Junmyeon?” Jongin asked. Junmyeon was Kyungsoo’s editor and friend. When they had first met, they didn’t have the best of relationships. Kyungsoo had thought he was fake, with fake smiles and fake genuineness. Jongin had scolded him for judging the man without actually knowing him. But in Kyungsoo’s defense Junmyeon had thought Kyungsoo was an unfriendly person because apparently, Kyungsoo’s RBF was very intense that day. Now, however, Kyungsoo and Junmyeon were good friends. 

“Yes,” Kyungsoo sighed. “You know how he gets though. He’s more concerned about my well-being than producing a new book. He said I should take a break, especially since I just finished another tour. He acts like I’m old and I can’t take care of myself.”

“You are old though.”

“I’m only thirty-one, that’s not old.”

“Soon to be thirty-one,” Jongin teased with a wink.

“Don’t forget mister, you’re turning thirty.”

“I like to pretend that thirty doesn't exist,” Jongin gave him a smug look as he went back to his laptop. Kyungsoo peaked at Jongin before he turned back to his laptop. He pursed his lip as he went through his writing folder and opened a document labeled: _untitled._

It was a file he kept a secret, only occasionally slipping in some content when he found slips of paper Jongin wrote on. But maybe this time round, he’ll finish it. He just needed to work up the courage to open the box he had sealed and put in the far corner on his closet.

On rare occasions, the pair would go to Kyungsoo's favourite coffee shop to get work done. Typically, they preferred to work separately but some days, without spoken words Jongin would join Kyungsoo on the days he needed his husband the most.

Kyungsoo kept stealing glances at his husband as he wrote. He kept doing it for hours and he was sure the Jongin had noticed. Kyungsoo gave up on his writing and decided to full on stare at the other, while he worked diligently. 

“Is there something on my face?” Jongin asked, while still keeping his eyes locked on the screen. He didn’t seem too concerned with the idea of having a dirty face, mostly, as Kyungsoo believed, was because he would clean it without a second thought.

“No,” Kyungsoo said quietly. He rested his head on his hand. “Just admiring you.”

“You do that so often,” Jongin directed his eye in Kyungsoo's direction, but kept his head facing the screen.

“I like looking at you,” Kyungsoo shrugged. “It's a hobby.”

“Maybe I should wear masks, so you’ll stop looking at my face.”

Kyungsoo smiled. “Then I'll appreciate your skin.”

Jongin bit his bottom lip as the colour of his cheeks changed. “You do that enough anyways.”

“Then I’ll appreciate it more,” Kyungsoo’s gazed soften. “Maybe I’ll find something new to love about it.”

Jongin looked back to his screen without responding as Kyungsoo continued to stare.

 

\---

 

_Feeling the softness of the sheets could never compare to the softness and warmth of your skin._

One of Kyungsoo’s favourite things of Jongin was his skin. Jongin used to get picked on for being darker than the other kids. But Kyungsoo had watched as Jongin learn to love it. Maybe that was the first time he had ever fallen in love with Jongin. Before he even realized that he harboured feelings for the younger. 

“Kkamjong, when you going to lighter your skin,” a kid teased once during gym class. This was back during middle school. Jongin had just transferred into the grade below him. Kyungsoo had only spoken to him a couple times since he befriended Sehun. 

Kyungsoo was with Chanyeol when the two of them heard that comment. The pair were ready to go over and help Jongin out, especially when Kyungsoo noticed the hurt that rose in Jongin's eyes. It wasn't the first time Kyungsoo had to help him out. But it was the first time that Kyungsoo felt an overwhelming amount of compassion for his friend.

“You really need to come up with new jokes,” Jongin said to them. “I've been hearing the my entire life. And why you guys think that it’s okay to say those kind of things to people baffles me.”

 

The first time Kyungsoo ever complimented Jongin on his skin was when they were walking home together. Kyungsoo was going off to high school the next year, so he wanted to make sure the latter new that he would always have a friend. A friend that would never judge the other for the darkness of his skin.

“You really do have beautiful skin,” Kyungsoo said. The pair had sat down on a bench next to the Han river. 

Jongin looked over at Kyungsoo surprised. “W-what?”

“I just…” Kyungsoo wasn't sure how to word what he wanted to say. “thought you should know.”

Jongin stared at him for some time. Like he was trying to figure out how sincere Kyungsoo was being. Instead of saying anything, he turned his head and faced the river. Kyungsoo did so as well. They both stared at the flowing water. 

Kyungsoo turned his head back to Jongin when he heard sniffling. Jongin didn't look at him, only kept looking at the water, while tears cascaded down his cheeks. Kyungsoo put an arm on Jongin's shoulder, and brought him closer until his head was rested on Kyungsoo's shoulder. 

It wasn't until they were going to part ways to go home that the pair had spoke. 

“I'll text you,” Kyungsoo said. “We'll hang out during the break, and then we'll see each other more in high school, yeah?”

Jongin nodded. His eyes were red from the crying, but at least he had stopped. 

“Smile,” Kyungsoo said. “You always look best with a smiling face.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jongin said. 

 

\---

 

“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon looked up from his computer screen. He had just finished reading the little Kyungsoo had written. “This is wonderful.” 

Usually, Kyungsoo showed Junmyeon random writing he was working on. Most of it was never used, but the act of being able to write it out usually helped Kyungsoo with his next book. But what he showed Junmyeon from his _untitled_ document was something that Kyungsoo didn’t think he would be able to let go of so easily.

Kyungsoo blushed at his comment. He was used to people complimenting him. But this was something different. What he had shown Junmyeon was something that he never planned to show anyone. But, after his recent birthday, he realized that he did want to share it, but only to one person.

“I don't…” Kyungsoo paused. How could he word this? “I don't want to have it out in the world though. I'm mostly just writing it for Jongin.”

Junmyeon nodded. “As your friend, I completely understand. But as your editor, not publishing this would be such a disgrace. I know this is unpolished but this just feels so raw. It feels different than what you normally write.”

Junmyeon spun back and forth in his chair. Kyungsoo bit his lip. It was true, even he knew that this was different than what he normally sent to his editor. But this was also the only thing that he had given Junmyeon in the recent months. He knew he should be working on something else, something that he wanted to publish. 

“How about a compromise,” Junmyeon said after a moment of deliberation. “You finish this, and we can get it printed for you- however many copies you want. In return, write me another book just as beautiful as this.”

Kyungsoo smiled at Junmyeon in thanks, but just as quickly, his smiled turned into something mischievous. “Are you trying to say that my other books aren't beautiful?”

“W-what?” Junmyeon sputtered. “N-no, I'm not saying that at all.”

Kyungsoo chuckled as he got up. “I'll send you an outline by the end of next week.”

 

Kyungsoo went home after that. Jongin and him live in a penthouse, in the heart of downtown. Large windows that took over the first and second floor left the apartment feeling bright and open. Really, just the best writing environment. It was a five minute walk from Jongin’s studio, too, which, made them both fall in love with it just that much more. 

He sat at the dining room table, facing the windows. He had his laptop, his writing notebook and coffee situated in front of him. He contemplated the best way to take action. He opened up the document he was working on the other day with Jongin and deleted it. It was only five thousand words. Five thousand words of wasted space.

When Kyungsoo was in one of his moods, he was ruthless with his work. If something was absurd and make himself second guess anything, he would delete it. So far, after all these years, it’s been working for him. 

He stared at the new blank document. But the only thing swirling in his head was the _untitled_ document. He knew that if he opened it he would completely forego the work he was supposed to be doing. 

It wouldn’t be until the next day that Kyungsoo would realize all the writing he did the day before was relatively the same thing as the stuff he had been thinking about for days.

He unconsciously wrote about Jongin again. He laughed silently to himself as he washed dishes when the epiphany hit him. Damn that boy had his heart under lock and key.

 

Later on that week, when he was home alone, Kyungsoo walked into his closest. He went directly to the back corner where the box was and slowly pulled it out of its hiding place. 

He sat crossed legged on the floor with the open box in front of him. He looked through the scraps of papers and pictures he’s accumulated over the last twelve years.

He picked up one of the top pictures. This was back during the summer before Jongin's first year in college. They went for a camping trip with their friends. The picture showed Jongin and Kyungsoo sitting side by side on their camping chairs. Kyungsoo was posed with a peace sign and his wide smile that he learned to love, because of Jongin. 

Beside him, Jongin was looking at him with the softest of smiles. A smile that Kyungsoo and his friends equated with _Kyungsoo's smile_.

 

\-----

 

_Those soft smiles that you reserve only for me._

The music was loud in Kyungsoo’s ears. He hated going to parties. But this was a party for the graduates and a few other close friends from other grades. It was _supposed_ to be a small gathering. Instead, as the night progressed the more and more people showed. He _knew_ he shouldn’t have trusted Baekhyun when he said he was making the party plans. 

Currently, Kyungsoo was standing outside on the back porch with a drunk Sehun at his side.

“You know he never smiles at me like that,” Sehun slurred his words together that it took Kyungsoo a moment to pick out their meaning. Jongin was over in the backyard playing beer pong with Yixing, while they faced Jongdae and Minseok.

“What are you talking about?” Kyungsoo held on tighter to his red cup when Sehun flung an arm around his shoulder. He breathed in Kyungsoo’s face causing the older to flinch.

“Jongin,” Sehun said as he took another sip of his drink. “He’s my best friend, yet he gives you all these special smiles.”

“What smiles?” Kyungsoo asked as he eyed his boyfriend, who was focused on making his shot.

“You don’t know?” Sehun asked. He pointed over at Jongin as he spoke. “You see that? That’s the smile he gives everyone, even me. But with you, it’s a different kind of smile.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Of course, I'm jealous,” Sehun said with a pout.

Kyungsoo put down his nearly empty cup, as he wrapped an arm around Sehun. “I'm not stealing him from you.”

“It sure feels like you are,” Sehun said. He took another sip and frowned when he realized it was empty. He reached out for Kyungsoo's instead, but the latter stopped him.

Kyungsoo held on to Sehun’s hand and looked him in the eye. “You're his best friend, I can't steal that from you.”

“But you're his boyfriend,” Sehun countered. “You might as well be his new best friend.” Sehun groaned them and placed his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

Kyungsoo gently patted his friend's head and looked over at Jongin. With Sehun’s words freshly imprinting itself in his mind, Kyungsoo noticed his boyfriend give him a small smile. _His_ smile. 

_Ah_ , Kyungsoo thought. _That smile._

“See!” Sehun shot his head up and pointed at Jongin, who looked at his friend with confusion. “That smile.” Sehun groaned again. “I don’t feel good.”

Kyungsoo nodded his head towards Jongin, silently calling him over. Kyungsoo was grateful that he understood what he meant, as he quickly spoke to Yixing before running over. Kyungsoo watched as Yixing, sunk three balls in a row after. 

“Are you going to throw up?” Kyungsoo asked. Sehun shook his head. “Why don’t you feel well then?”

“Hey, everything okay?” Jongin asked as he reached the pair.

Sehun groaned again. “No, Soo, why?”

Jongin looked to his boyfriend as Sehun pushed closer to Kyungsoo and buried his face in the elder's neck.

“Sehun is slightly upset,” Kyungsoo said as he rubbed the younger's back, realizing then that his groaning was due to the fact that he was sad. “Because apparently, you have a special smile for me and not him.”

Jongin gave him an amused look before he gently pulled Sehun from his arms and brought him to sit of the steps. Kyungsoo leaned against the railing next to the pair.

“You know you’re being silly right?” Jongin said to his friend. Sehun crossed his arms.

“Kyungsoo is stealing you from me,” Sehun said. “I’m not being silly.”

Jongin snorted. “I am not some object. Do you feel like I’m not spending enough time with you or something?”

Sehun shook his head.

“What is it then?”

“I don’t want to be replaced.”

Jongin locked eyes with Kyungsoo. Both were shocked at their friend's confession. 

“Replaced?” Jongin said. “Oh Sehun, you are hardly replaceable.” Sehun opened his mouth to speak but Jongin cut him off. “Just because Kyungsoo is my boyfriend doesn’t mean he’s going to be my new best friend or anything. You’ll always be my number one best friend.”

“Do you promise?” Sehun pouted. Jongin nodded his head and Sehun threw his arms around Jongin’s neck. He stood up suddenly and turned to Kyungsoo. “You hear that Mr. Do, _I’m_ his number one best friend.

Sehun stuck out his tongue before he stumbled towards the beer pong table. Both Jongin and Kyungsoo watched him slightly baffled. 

Kyungsoo was the first to laugh. “That kid is going to be the death of me.”

Jongin got up and stood behind Kyungsoo, resting his arms next to his. “And you’re going to be the death of _me_.”

Kyungsoo turned his head to Jongin. “Not your best.”

Jongin gave him a soft smile, like he did before. His cheeks weren’t full like they would’ve been if he gave a toothy grin, but this was more subtle. Kyungsoo felt heat rise to his cheeks as Jongin continued to stare. 

This made Kyungsoo fall harder.

 

The next morning, Jongin and Kyungsoo were in the kitchen making something for breakfast when a hungover Sehun walked in.

“Fuck,” he mumbled as he sat at the table, head in his hands. “Whatever I did yesterday, I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” Jongin smirked, though the other couldn’t see. “Number _one_ best friend.”

Sehun slowly lifted his head, as if, Jongin’s comment triggered some memories.

Kyungsoo chuckled a bit. “Yeah, Sehun, you don’t have to worry. You're his number one best friend, but he shares secret smiles with me. We get the best of both worlds, huh?”

“Oh. My. God,” Sehun said, his mouth agape. “Oh my god.” 

 

\---

 

“Hello, my number one best friend,” Jongin said into his phone. It's been over ten years since that joke was created and still do this day Jongin teases Sehun about it. By this point in their lives, Sehun had grown accustomed to it and doesn't fight it. 

Kyungsoo and Jongin were washing the dishes left from breakfast when his phone rang. 

“I’m just about to head out,” Jongin said. He had his phone tucked between his shoulder and ear, so he could finish drying dishes. 

He wiped his hands with the towel and hung it on the oven handle to dry. Kyungsoo was wiping around the sink as Jongin gave him a kiss on the cheek. Kyungsoo watched as Jongin went up the stairs to their room. 

A distinct _ping_ from his phone pulled him from his thoughts.

He walked over to the dining room table and check his phone. 

_Junmyeon  
Instead of the office today, let’s meet at your café?_

_Kyungsoo  
Sure._

Kyungsoo put his phone back down and doubled check his bag, which held everything he needed for his meeting.

He had been progressing nicely with his writing. The next novel he's writing has taken form as, almost, a more subtle tribute to Jongin. Whereas the other book, his personal book, is all about Jongin. Both were about half way done, and Kyungsoo was definitely feeling productive.

Jongin came down the stairs, changed and his dance bag slung on his shoulder. He phone was in his hand and he gave Kyungsoo a smile. 

“I'll see you later?” Jongin said wrapping his arms around his husband.

“Mhm. Dinner reservations are for six,” Kyungsoo said giving him a peck.

“Okay, don't miss me too much,” Jongin pulled away and walked to door. Kyungsoo followed suit.

“No promises, love,” Kyungsoo walked over and gave him another kiss before the younger left.

Once Kyungsoo was alone, he walked back to the kitchen. He looked at the wall clock. 

9:25

He still had some time before his meeting but still get went to change and gather his things. He could probably squeeze in some writing before Junmyeon arrived. 

 

The murmur of voices and steaming of milk filled Kyungsoo ears as he typed away. He hardly noticed people entering and leaving the store. Or the people who clumsily spill their drinks. 

He didn't noticed Junmyeon entering the store and ordering himself a drink. Kyungsoo was wrapped in his characters and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to get much more writing done as he would've like. But Junmyeon was a very patient man. 

He quietly sat in front of Kyungsoo as he wrote and wrote.

Kyungsoo sighed as he finally finished what he was writing. His eyes flicked to the clock on his laptop. 

10:30. 

“Shit, Myeon,” Kyungsoo said finally addressing him. Junmyeon was sitting with his head resting on his hands, like he was admiring Kyungsoo as he worked. “Sorry.”

Junmyeon smiled. “That's okay, it's very seldom that I get to watch you work. Which one were you working on?”

“Yours.”

Junmyeon nodded his head and pulled out papers from her bag. The stack was about an inch thick, which was what Kyungsoo had sent to him last week to read over.

“We’ll start with that then,” Junmyeon said. Kyungsoo pulled out his stack as well.

And so their day went, editing both novels. By the time Kyungsoo got home later in the day it was 4 p.m. Jongin should be home shortly. 

Kyungsoo ditched his things in his office. After he made his way up the wide stairs and walked down the hall to his room. He shed his clothes and tossed them into the laundry basket which was just beside the door of the bathroom. 

He hoped in the shower and gave himself a quick wash. It was date night and that meant he had to put his best foot forward. 

That was something he always he made sure to do. Especially when they used to live in that ratty apartment. Though Kyungsoo loved that placed to no end. There were so many problems with it and he always felt like he spent more money trying to fix it than he did on anything else. 

He moved to that apartment right after he graduated, he even paid the extra money, because it came with the roof -- though he also had to maintain that. Right after Joining graduated and moved in with Kyungsoo, it was their first place together. A place that they learned so much more about each than Kyungsoo could've ever imagined. 

It was there that Kyungsoo always made sure to give Jongin the best dates of his life. They were both struggling, both trying to make in the world with their arts. But still, Kyungsoo would save for months just to take Jongin out to a fancier restaurant than the family restaurants they usually spent their time in.

Kyungsoo can never forget the face Jongin would make when Kyungsoo surprised him with things like that. Even now, though they can afford anything they want, Jongin still gives him the most heartfelt reactions that make Kyungsoo want to buy him the world and then some. 

 

Kyungsoo stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Jongin was face planted into the bed, which surprised the older. 

“Jongin?” 

Jongin hummed into the sheets. He was wearing his dancing gear. A loose shirt and some leggings and shorts. One of Kyungsoo's favourite outfits.

“Everything okay?” 

Jongin turned his head to face Kyungsoo, but then moved so he was resting his head on his hand and eyed Kyungsoo. 

“I'm doing _much_ better,” Jongin ran his eyes up and down Kyungsoo's body. 

Kyungsoo smirked. “You're going to have to wait til later.” 

Jongin pouted as he got up. “Fine, but give me a kiss.”

Jongin walked over to him seductively swaying his hips. He threw his arms over Kyungsoo's shoulders. Their lips met and danced their ever so familiar dance. 

Kyungsoo rubbed Jongin's sides. “You sure you're okay?”

Jongin nodded. “Just the stress of the recital getting closer is all.”

“I’m sure it’ll go great,” Kyungsoo patted his husband’s butt. “Now go take a shower or we’re going to be late.”

 

They arrived at the restaurant and had a wonderful view of the riverbank. They had fancy food and stared longingly at each other. The game of footsy they were playing under the table started to turn suggestive when Jongin slowly started to raise his for a long Kyungsoo’s thigh. Luckily that happened during dessert. 

To say that the drive home was filled with sexual tension would be an understatement. Kyungsoo made a twenty minute drive home, a ten.

 

With discarded clothes leading to the bedroom and multiple stops along the way the pair finally made it to their destination. Kyungsoo made sure that he caressed the back of Jongin’s head with his hand as the younger laid back. A habit he had gotten after their first night together. 

 

With new markings on both their bodies, the pair laid side by side, Jongin on his stomach and Kyungsoo his back. Kyungsoo watched as his husband’s eyes started to flutter close, until sleep overtook him. Kyungsoo turned to his side and gave him a soft kiss to his forehead.

Running his eyes down the rest of Jongin’s body, Kyungsoo noticed the way the moonlight highlighted the contours of his back. Each muscle shifting, with every breath.

Slowly, Kyungsoo too succumbed to sleep.

 

\---

_The dust particles that danced in the morning light would never be as pretty as the moans I hear at night. Or as pretty as the dancing of your soul._

It had been a week since the pair last saw each other. But luckily it was a long weekend and Jongin was going to be staying at Kyungsoo’s dorm for the weekend, without his roommate, who decided to go back home.

They had spent the first day wandering around the campus, Kyungsoo showing Jongin everything there was too see. Then for dinner Kyungsoo had taken him to a local bar for some greasy bar food. 

Now they were cuddled on Kyungsoo’s single bed, giving each other soft kisses. 

“Tonight,” Jongin said as he pulled away, there was blush coating his cheeks. Kyungsoo understood what he was asking for right away.

“Are you sure?” Kyungsoo asked. The only reason why the pair hadn’t had sex yet was because Jongin wasn’t ready yet. And Kyungsoo being the ever-so-patient boyfriend that he was never pressured him into doing anything the other didn’t want. 

Of course, they were both still virgins. Both so new to the concept of sex, that they knew they needed that extra time to feel ready. Especially when it came to their first love.

“Yeah, I-I really want to,” Jongin said. “I’m ready. Did you…?”

Kyungsoo gave him a kiss. “Of course, I do.”

Jongin bit his lip, something that he knew always riled Kyungsoo up.

Their soft kisses now, started to turn into something more intense. Their touches changed as did their positions.

Kyungsoo was flat on his back, with Jongin straddling his lap. Jongin pulled away from the kiss and rested his hands on Kyungsoo’s lower stomach. Kyungsoo had his hands on Jongin’s hip and slowly they started to push their way up and under his shirt. Jongin pulled his hands away and lifted his shirt over his head.

This wasn’t the first time Kyungsoo has seen him shirtless, but this time it was much more intimate. And this time, Jongin was even more beautiful than ever.

Jongin started to cover himself under Kyungsoo’s gaze. Kyungsoo pulled his hands away and rose, so they arms could wrap around each other.

“Don’t cover yourself,” Kyungsoo said kissing Jongin’s collarbone, feeling the heat get lower and lower. “You’re so damn beautiful.”

Jongin blushed harder and captured Kyungsoo’s mouth. His hands ran down the olders back trying desperately to get his shirt off as well. Kyungsoo gently pulled away and removed his shirt.

Jongin bit his lip again and he pushed the older back down on his back and kissed the center of his chest. Slowly he made his way back up to his lips. Kyungsoo ran his hands down Jongin’s side until they reached his ass. He cupped both cheeks through the other’s jeans and brought their crotches together.

Both groaned at contact. Their chests were flesh to flesh. 

Jongin, with the help of Kyungsoo’s hand started to grind. Kyungsoo could hear Jongin’s gasps in his ear which made him grow harder.

Kyungsoo turned his head and started to kiss Jongin’s neck, slowly biting here and there. This caused the younger to moan out.

“K-Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo shift his hands, so they could slightly push under the back of Jongin’s jeans. Jonign slid his hands between their bodies down to Kyungsoo’s pants. Jonign started to fumble with the button on his jeans, it was only then that Kyungsoo realized just how nervous Jongin was. 

Jongin pulled back a bit as he tried again at Kyungsoo’s button, but Kyungsoo brought his hands over his.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo said softly. Jongin looked at him with a flushed face.

“How are you so calm?” Jongin said. He slumped forward and rested his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

Kyungsoo chuckled slightly. “I’m not. I’m just as nervous as you are.”

Kyungsoo secured his arms around Jongin’s waist and switched their positions. The younger let out a small yelp at the sudden movement. Kyungsoo moved so he was kneeling between Jongin’s legs. 

Slowly, he unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper. His bulge peeked through.

“You don’t look nervous,” Jongin whispered.

“Believe me,” Kyungsoo ran his hands down Jongin’s abs to the top of his jeans. “I am.”

Kyungsoo popped the button and slipped his hand underneath Jongin's jeans.

Through hushed moans and sloppy kisses, steady hearts and first times, Kyungsoo and Jongin shared a moment of togetherness that they would cherish for a lifetime.

 

Kyungsoo took a deep breath when he woke. Jongin had his back facing him, the memories of the previous night filled Kyungsoo’s thoughts.

When he regarded the back of Jongin’s head, he saw the matted hair. He was going to have to watch out for that from now on, he decided. 

His eyes shifted down the rest of his body, where the sun covered a patch of his skin. The dust in the air danced above his skin, like it provided the music. Kyungsoo leaned over and left gentle kisses on his boyfriend's skin, staining his heart with tender love.

\---

To say that Kyungsoo was stressing out would be an understatement. His deadlines for finishing both first drafts were fast approaching and he was stuck. He couldn’t figure out why he was. He had been in such a good place months ago and carried through, but over the last month he’s lost it, whatever it was. 

He's been a written for years now, and still to this day he doesn't know what to call his situation. He doesn't like calling it writer's block. Kyungsoo sees it as an excuse for why some writers don't write. But for him it wasn’t a block. He knew exactly what he needed and wanted to write but there was something stopping him. 

This feeling never happens often, but when it does it could stump him for weeks, which it has been doing. 

Usually, by this point, he would've seeked out Jongin, but the younger was busy dealing with the stress of an upcoming recital. 

It was a bad habit of his to shut down in situations like this and as much as he tries to hide it from Jongin, the latter always finds out.

 

Kyungsoo was sitting in his office with his head in his hands. His hair was ruffled from the constant contact with his fingers. His blinds were shut, to block out any light. The last thing he wanted was the brightness and cheeriness of the day to hate himself more. 

There was a light knock on his door. Jongin peeked his head through the crack in the door. 

“Hey,” Jongin said. He was home early today. When he saw the state of his husband he walked fully into the room and walked over to his side. Jongin ran his hands over Kyungsoo’s back. “Everything okay?”

“Fine,” Kyungsoo said with a tight voice.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin said, warning in his tone. There was never a threat behind his words, more of a I-know-what-your-thinking-so-you-better-tell-me-how-you-feel kind of tone. “What’s wrong?”

Kyungsoo sighed and shifted his chair so the younger could sit in his lap. “I can’t write.”

“What’s stopping you?” Jongin knew better than to try and console his husband. Anytime Kyungsoo was in this self-deprecating state, the last thing he wanted was to be consoled. 

“I wish I knew…”

“Is there something about this project that you’re afraid of? Anything that you are afraid your readers will react negatively to?”

Kyungsoo thought for a moment. “This project is a lot more personal than my other works normally are.”

Jongin hummed. He understood. He always understood what Kyungsoo was trying to say.

“Well, you’re just going to have to trust your readers then,” jongin said, like it was the simplest thing on earth.

How could he trust his readers to understand his heart and soul? He barely understood his heart and soul. 

“Remember when you were in the process of publishing your first book?” Jongin continued. Kyungsoo hummed. “Remember what you told me when you were starting to doubt yourself?”

“No, what?”

“You told me that no matter what others say about your work, whether or not they understand it, you’re just going to be happy that you finally lived your dream of publishing a book.”

Kyungsoo looked at Jongin with a pointed stare. “That was when I was a newbie writer. I’m seasoned now, I shouldn’t be like this.”

Jongin chuckled and reached his hand up to Kyungsoo’s hair. He lightly tugged at one of the short strands. A _grey_ hair. “Yeah, you’re mostly definitely seasoned.”

Kyungsoo scoffed.

“No matter how many books you’ve written, love,” Jongin lightly kissed his forehead. “Every new book is a new book. So you’re always going to be stuck in some for or another. It’s just like me and choreographing. Every time I have to figure out a new routine, I’m always worried that it’s going to be boring or the same old thing I’ve done before--”

“You could never be boring.”

Jonign smiled at that. “--the point is that it’s okay to be afraid and worried about what others are thinking of you, you just need to remember what you’re doing it for, okay?”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo pulled Jongin close and mumbled in his chest. “God, I love you so much.”

“Your worries are my worries,” Jongin started.

“Your passions are my passions,” Kyungsoo finished.

\---

_Your worries are my worries. Your passions are my passions._

“You’re not a writer, Jongin,” Kyungsoo snapped. “You wouldn’t understand.”

It had been a long day for Kyungsoo. He had work all day then spent several hours trying to get his first book written so he could send it to publishing houses. But nothing was working for him. The cafe was too loud and rowdy. When he got home it was too quiet and when Jongin got home Kyungsoo discovered that he had hurt himself during practice.

He might need to go to the doctor but neither of them had the money to buy pain medicine right now.

Jongin was surprisingly calm about the entire situation, which frustrated Kyungsoo more because he was the one who was being over-dramatic. 

“Soo,” Jongin said so softly that Kyungsoo felt a lump form in his throat. He was sat on the couch with a slightly grimace from the pain in his back. 

“No, Jongin,” Kyungsoo said. He was pacing back and forth in front of Jongin, on the other side of the old coffee table. 

“Soo, just listen,” Jongin tried to stand but decided against it.

“Just...” Kyungsoo sighed. “Just stayed there, I’ll get you a heat pack.”

Kyungsoo walked to the bathroom where they kept the packs. He looked in the mirror and saw just how disgruntled he looked. God, he was a mess.

When he got back to the living room, Jongin was laying on his stomach, his head turned toward Kyungsoo. 

Kyungsoo approached and placed it where it hurt, with Jongin’s direction. Kyungsoo still felt high strung and the more he saw his boyfriend in pain the more frustrated he felt. 

He sighed once more. “Make sure you stay here, and try not to move too much. I’ll be back.”

Jongin grunt in response. The pain must’ve been too much for him to bear.

Kyungsoo got up and went to the balcony, where the outer stairs led to the roof. He quietly closed the door behind him and ascended the metal stairs. 

Luckily, the stairs provided a nice cool feel to his feet. It was that weird seasonal change between spring and summer. Some days were warmer than others.

He reached the top and walked over to the small plastic container that held blankets, they used to lay on.

Kyungsoo set it up and stared up at the darkening sky to clear his head. 

 

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how long he had been outside for, but the sky was darker now and the stars were starting to pop out. He heard a small groan and creeking on metal stairs.

He quickly rose when he realized that it was Jongin. He was already on the roof, holding his back as he got closer. 

“Jongin--” Jongin waved him off when Kyungsoo was about to help. As much as he wanted to he knew that when Jongin said he was fine, he meant it.

Jongin sat beside him slowly rested his back on the ground.

“You should’ve just stayed inside.”

Jongin shook his head. “You’re upset.”

He said that like that was the only answer that was necessary. 

“What’s wrong, Soo?” Jongin asked quietly. Kyungsoo layed down beside him, both stared up at the sky.   
“It’s really nothing,” Kyungsoo said. “I don’t want you to worry.”

“Whether you want it or not, I’m going to worry,” Jongin sighed. Kyungsoo felt shifting on the blanket until Jongin’s hand found his. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Do you ever wonder if you ever made the right choice?” Kyungsoo felt Jongin’s hand tighten in his grasp.

“What do you mean?”

The rushing of cars down below filled the silence that Kyungsoo left as he thought of how to word what he wanted to say.

“I guess, I’m just wondering if me choosing to become an author is the right decision.”

Jongin stayed quiet for a moment longer than Kyungsoo liked. Maybe he should’ve kept this to himself.

“When I come home injured, or when I know I performed below than what I can normally do, I never wonder if me choosing to become a professional dancer was the right decision. I know that in my heart this is what I want to do. What I _love_ doing.”

Kyungsoo turned his head to look at Jongin. The latter kept his head facing the sky, like it helped to fill him with wonder and hope.

“Being an artist, whether it be a dancer or a painter or a writer, means going through hardships and existential crises that not many other people can understand. We go so deep within ourselves to trying to make meaning of what we’re doing, when in reality all we need to do is learn to love what we create.”

Kyungsoo could’ve swore he watched Jongin’s eyes light up as he spoke. It was almost like Jongin himself was reaching an epiphany he didn’t know he needed.

“Not everyone is going to love you, and there will be a lot of people who hate you, but you don’t create for them or anyone other than yourself. I dance because it fills my soul with so much joy that if I’m not dancing I feel like I am missing a part of myself,” Jongin turned his head toward Kyungsoo and gave him such a faint smile, that if Kyungsoo hadn’t known him for as long as he did, he would’ve missed it. “I can’t tell you how you should feel about your writing, but I just hope you remember why you wanted to write in the first place.”

Kyungsoo leaned over and gave Jongin one. Two. Three kisses. 

“We should probably get you back inside,” Kyungsoo said. He knew that Jongin didn’t expect much of an answer in return, which Kyungsoo was thankful for. Jongin understood Kyungsoo in ways that the elder was still trying to process. 

Kyungsoo carefully brought Jongin to his feet. Together they made their way to their room, Jongin groaning half of the way because of the pain.

 

\----

 

**Do Kyungsoo’s newly released book, Sempiternal, TOPS all charts.**

**Kim Jongin and Oh Sehun’s Sound of Colour sells out. Three new dates have been added.**

**Do Kyungsoo and many other world renowned celebrities appearance at Sounds of Colour opening night.**

 

Both Kyungsoo and Jongin had been busy over the last couple months. Jongin had finished his recitals a little over a week ago. Kyungsoo on the other hand had just flown back to Seoul after finishing another book tour. But before making his journey home, he made a quick stop to the publishing house with Junmyeon.

They went to one of the board rooms where there were several others, waiting to seeing Kyungsoo’s reaction. Kyungsoo, for the most part, left the design and everything up to Junmyeon. They had decided early one that Kyungsoo should also be surprised for this, or else it would never get finished.

Kyungsoo was surprised to see a large box sitting on the table. He raised an eyebrow towards Junmyeon.

“We made extra copies,” Junmyeon said sheepishly. “Just in case.”

Kyungsoo opened the box, slowly peeling back the flaps. It was really just a simple book. Black hard cover, decently sized. He opened the title page and read: _The DO Collection_.

 

Kyungsoo walked into their shared apartment, he dropped of the box of books by the front door, but picked up the first printed edition already signed, close to his chest. He felt nervous. This was something he had been working on for years, without even realizing and now, he’s finally going to share it with the love of his life. It was surreal. 

Jongin was standing with his back facing him at the dining room table. There were papers scattered in front of him. Kyungsoo let out a small gasp when he saw the box. The box that was supposed to be hidden in the far corners of his closet.

Jongin turned his head at the sound, looking guilty.

“How did you find that?” Kyungsoo asked. The grip on the book tightened ever so lightly.

“I was cleaning out the closest and I found it…” Jongin said. He looked back at the papers scattered in front of him.

“You had asked me once, a long time ago,” Kyungsoo said as he looked at the book in his hands. “If I ever wrote about you,” Kyungsoo held the book out to Jongin. “You are in every book and every character I have ever written.”

He looked up at Kyungsoo, after he read the title. Kyungsoo nodded encouragement, but said nothing out of fear of hearing his voice crack.

Jongin opened the first page and read the handwritten note, that Kyungsoo inscribed before leaving the office. 

When Jongin finished he looked up at Kyungsoo with tears in his eyes. He closed the distance and the pair wrapped their arms around each other. 

“Oh, Soo,” Jongin mumbled in his hair. Jongin cleared his throat as he pulled away from Kyungsoo. “You need to finish cleaning the closet. I've got a book to read.”

 

“How did he like it?” Junmyeon asked on the other end of the line. Kyungsoo smiled and looked over to Jongin who, still had the book next to him. He spent the rest of yesterday and the most of the night to read it. When he finished he had woke Kyungsoo up at 4am and cried in his arms. Only to lead to something more a little more romantic. 

“He loved it,” Kyungsoo said. “Thank you, Junmyeon.”

“Of course, my friend,” Junmyeon said. Kyungsoo could hear the smile in his voice. “So, when’s that next book coming out.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~

_No one is perfect, but to me you are the closest thing to perfection. And I don't think I could ever thank you enough for giving me your love._

_Our last adventure: KJ 2086.08.25 & DK 2086.10.02 _

 

Luhan flipped over the last page and let out a shaky sigh. It was late into the night and he had just finished reading the book. He still hadn’t left his position and now he was too awake, filled with this feeling of longing and emptiness that he hadn’t anticipated.

He took a moment before he reached over for his holopad. He did a quick search and discovered that the last dates were indeed, the dates of both Jongin and Kyungsoo’s death. The last couple of pages had been filled in with different coloured ink, of different significant events in their lives. Luhan could only presume that it was Kyungsoo who had filled the last pages with his own writing.

Though, Luhan logically knew that their death was eminent, it still sadden him to know that they had died. Holding the book in his hand now, Luhan decided that he was going to make sure that Jongin and Kyungsoo would live on forever. 

Because when writers write about what they care about, they do it with ever fiber of their being. They imprint pages with their thoughts and feelings. They share with the world a high power that no other occupation could hope to achieve. They give readers the chance to live thousands of lives and for that Luhan is thankful.


End file.
